Where is the balance?

““Being a writer is complicated.”

“In what way? The plots, the characters, the words?”

“The guilt.”

“You feel guilty when you don’t write.”

“I do.”

“So when you write it’s okay.’

“Oh, no. I feel ever more guilty when I do write.””

Joseph R Kennedy https://www.facebook.com/joseph.r.kennedy wrote it the NaNoWriMo group. . .

https://www.facebook.com/groups/NaNoWriMoparticipants/

I replied with. . . “I totally get this. . . I feel worthless when I don’t write, but guilty when I write too much. You can never seem to write when you manage to get those 5 minutes of your own time. . .”

The thing is how does one find balance with living life and writing. I mean I have heard of mothers/fathers working, doing errands, chores, dealing with kids and pets, and still managing to find time to get 2k words or more a day. I also heard of people writing 100,000 to 250,000 words or higher with NaNoWriMo. I just really don’t know how they do it.

I know sometimes I need more life experience and inspiration and I want to go out and get that, but I want to write too. Grrrr.

All I know is I feel unproductive when I don’t write. I mean I could clean the entire house, make a seven course mean, pay all of my bills, and I would still unproductive if I didn’t write that day. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel the most as myself in front of a written screen or with a pen in my hand.

So yes I feel guilty when I don’t write, and I really feel guilty when I do write. (Even now I know I have dishes to do, but I really want to write this blog.)

Long Over Due

I’ve had depression for a while, and I have been fight tooth and nail to focus long enough to write this blog or anything really. . .

I am trying to get a job, because editors and publisher are not going to pay for themselves. . . unless I become big overnight. (I do appreciate my fiancé Tom editing for me. However I know with all of the projects he has going on, finding time to edit my other works is going to be difficult.)
I wanted to release my book Crimson Shadow Collection: Book 1: Melzela with kindle, but I decided that it would be best if I hold off a bit. I heard that if you self-publish that the professional publishing companies will not necessarily sign you because of copyrights and ownership issues. I really want my series Crimson Shadow Collection to be published by a mainstream company.

However did give myself some goals. . .

Reading (because every great writer, needs to read). . . I want to read at least 12 novels this years. . . that averages one a month, and I also want to read more short stories. . . I plan to post reviews on here and wherever the author needs me too. The genres I likes. . . paranormal/occult: vampires, witches, paranormal romance, paranormal erotica, and urban legends. Message me your suggestions. . . RebekahWolveire@yahoo.com

I want 2015 to be a finishing year. . . I have so many projects that I have started, and so many stories that need editing. (If I get a new idea I do plan to work on that as well.)

1. Driving lies Novella trilogy needs to be finished and edited
2. Several my short stories need to be edited.
3. I promised Tom I would help him with a few of his stories and I need to finish those.
4. I also want to blog more and write more poetry.

It’s 2am and I am exhausted so I am going to stop here for now.